Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
