we have pet lesbian snakes
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
