Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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