There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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