there was a trapeze. enough said
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
