just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
