I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
smell my finger.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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