Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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