I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
