Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
