the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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