operation harelip BJ is a go
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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