It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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