Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
