Heybabeimwearingurpanties
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
