i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
