We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I checked into jail on foursquare
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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