This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
