wrigley field is MILF paradise
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
