i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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