i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize