paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
