That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
