If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
