we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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