I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
