Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
