All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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