I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize