Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It's never too late to be topless.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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