OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
