gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
