Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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