The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
