The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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