i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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