If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
