It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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