I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
