Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You ruined the universe
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
