I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
