Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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