She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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