I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize