one two three fourrrrnication!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
