the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
he had hair everywhere except his balls
True strength comes from lack of pants
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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