It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
