Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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