is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
