I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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