she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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