Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
it's like iHOP with fire
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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