Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
what day is it and did you see me today?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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