He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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