He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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