If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize