you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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