i already hear my dad disowning me
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
