Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
