I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I smell like Dick and happiness
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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