i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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