I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
