hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
