Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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