I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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