u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
