Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
