umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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