I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
