It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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