my mouth tastes like poor choices
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
