Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
