Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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