It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
