her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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