I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
