Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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