P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
