Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize